Ex This, Ex That, Exiting rapidly

Well, after yesterday’s blog there was another exchange of emails. Good news, huh? It was, until things started getting weird. VERY WEIRD.

Literally every message mentioned her ex and how much he thinks of her. He thought she was lovely and wonderful and the only reason she was splitting with him is because he didn’t want any more children. Discussing an amicable split is one thing but there’s clearly some lingering feelings there. Oh, did I mention that she still lives with the ex? Yeah, that’s a thing.


To further set the scene, her ex has two children from a previous relationship aged 18, 10 and 7. Yep read that again. That’s not my mistake, you read the same as I. Completely threw me too. Guessing one of the children came self assembly with hellish shipping problems.


Next began a slew of emails explaining to me just how bad everyone in the world is and how awful it is that she is really old and needs to have kids soon.

I know some people suffer with low self esteem, some people think the world is against them, I understand that. But this was all a little bit above and beyond. Skipping over the ex-worship. I replied and explained that she’s not old, given that she’s only ONE YEAR OLDER THAN I AM! I put it nicely though, I said all manner of nice things, only to be hit with this ultra conversation killer.

“So how is that your longest relationship was under a year? I would say your not good at compromising.”


Knowing naff all about me, you’ve reached that conclusion? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because I have never had a relationship with anyone yet. I have been too busy with the rest of my life and never managed to meet the right person, you cheeky…anyway, I don’t think this is going to work out. Next.

Do you remember the lass that I mentioned in a previous blog? She lives a fair distance away which was one issue. The other was that trying to hold a conversation with her was a lot like trying to put trousers on a monkey, it’s hard work, takes ages and the end result is never what you hoped for. Case in point, I got a very short reply today from her just saying “yes its a fair distance”.


Two things really upset me with this response

1) She never bothered to answer my question, “would you like to try and make a go of it or not?”. You could suggest that the dismissive email is a “no” in itself, but it’s good manners and takes ten seconds to treat someone like a human being.

2) Hang fire here, it took you a week to write THAT?! I’m not your orbiter who you can keep dangling whilst you chat to other people. Sorry but I’m not wasting time with that nonsense.

It seems the search continues on.

It’s a new record

Well, we are now into week four of our expedition into online dating and am I relieved to say that I have received another email! This one is looking good, it has already lasted twice as long as all the previous email conversations put together.


Saying that…
As I write this it seems to have gone quiet. You know, I think I may have stumbled on to something here.
It could be that she has just gone to make some dinner, which is quite likely given the time, or maybe it’s because I said I like dancing. All my email conversations seem to have ended the moment I say I like Tango, Waltz, Jive and what-have-you. Not that I ever ask for what-have-you. Not on a first date. Seriously though, has dancing become some dark, cult thing?


Personally, I think dancing is great! I cant get enough of it and honestly believe it’s the best social activity I have had the pleasure of getting dragged into. Unfortunately I lost my dancing partner back in the day for reasons that shall not be mentioned (but it wasn’t me). I have been trying to find another partner, for both dance and life, but obviously none of my matches so far are dancers. In fact, they all scarpered at the very mention of it.


As always, I will continue to scour the dating sites looking for the one (no, not Neo) and keep you informed of any news.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me folks as it’s far from over yet.

Pic ‘n’ mix

Firstly, sorry for my absence yesterday, I was unwell. In fact I was so ill that I missed the latest episode of Doctor Who. I know, dreadful right?


I am feeling a little better today and mustered up enough energy to catch up on Doctor Who and then check my messages. A moment of hope blossomed and then quickly died upon discovering one email on LoveThing. Good news? No. This email full of hopes and dreams had in fact been deleted, as it was from another of those damn scammers.


At this point, i’m feeling like a chocolate. Bear with me. It seems I have a lot in common with some particularly delectable sweets, those ones where you have no idea what flavour you’re getting, unless it’s  a Malteser or a Minstrel, because you can tell them a mile off. You start munching, nice flavors hitting your palate, excitement building all over again as you take out the next sweet and then HORROR! It’s the coffee one, which at this point is expelled from your mouth at high speed toward the bin.


That’s me. I am the coffee Revel. Still, i’m sure someone out there likes them.

DISCLAIMER: This post is not sponsored by…whoever makes Revels. I forget. Nestle? Anyway, i’m not getting paid.

Not going out

I did have another blog all set ready for today, as I was supposed to be going out this evening to wish my friend Al Vimh a bonnie fair well, as he is moving to Scotland next weekend, so sad, but an illness has struck me down so I wont be able to go.


Instead I have to remain in the house drinking pills and popping water, so I’m going to spam the hell out of some more people with loving messages in the hope that they have a heart and actually want to date a hard working, funny, bald and beardy chap.


I have finally found some free dating sites, one is called Bristlr, this site is dedicated to beardy folk and their followers, so far the online population is a bit sparse but maybe that will bring me luck we shall see.
Another is called FreeDating.co.uk I cant check this yet as it takes a while to approve your profile.
And finally the third site was shown to me by FreeDating and this one is called LoveThing.co.uk population again a bit on the slim side.

So I am now a member of six dating sites, OKCupid is still there on the chance that one of my likes actually gets back to me.
You cannot say I’m not trying, hopefully something nice will happen soon so keep your fingers crossed for me folks.


I have finally used all my boosts on Match, these did absolutely naff all, except Match felt the need to put me down each day with an email saying “Your boost was a success 156 people skipped over your profile and looked at someone else!”, well that’s how I read it anyway.

Don’t worry folks I will find someone, it takes time that’s all, I just hope I can last that long.

Make the pain stop

I don’t think it’s possible to take much more of this. Being proverbally kicked in the pecker daily is starting to take it’s toll.


“But Beardy, you were talking to someone yesterday! What happened?”

I stupidly mentioned the distance between us (although not ideal, I would happily travel if it meant finding love) and I think she had a “whoops” moment. She hasn’t spoken to me since.


I’m still trying, though! It’s day four of the Upgrade and I have now used 4 of my 5 boosts. This has resulted in about 60 profile views but no likes. Non-subscribers are able to message me until I cancel it, so there’s always hope, but up to now it’s done me no good.

Although this blog is primarily about online dating, I can’t help but wonder if i’d be better off in the real world. I wish there were more clubs and things in Yeovil which I could join and actually meet real people around my age, but apparently the damn internet and smart phones have sucked the social element out of most of us. Not you lovely people, of course, but most of us. God I sound old.


Speaking of clubs, I have joined The British Beard Club so maybe this will lead on to some social events where I can meet a beard lovin’ lass. Or a bearded lady. I don’t judge.

On a side note, you may or may not know that yesterday was National Poetry Day. Here’s my contribution…

Roses are red
with prickly bits.
Let’s go for a drink
and you can show me your…delightful qualities.