These are not the dates you are looking for

As you may have seen on my twitter feed I have had another message today, conversation has been lively with both parties asking questions, so it’s looking up.

Still early days yet, though so fingers crossed.

In the meantime, with all the hype surrounding the soon to be released Star Wars: Force Awakens I started wondering what it would be like if some of the characters from the Star Wars universe decided to try online dating. What might their profiles look like? Maybe something like this?

USERNAME: Jabby69

Jabba-The-Hutt_b5a08a70

PERSONAL STATEMENT:

My name is Jabba, but you may call me the Hutt.
I have a vast influence on local politics and like to see things done properly.
I believe in severely punishing peoples mistakes as this helps other people to learn very quickly.
I have my own palace, several slaves, a spaceport and a pod race track.

MY APPEARANCE:
BODY TYPE: Heavyset
HAIR: None
EYES: Orange

MY VALUES:
RELIGION: Buddhist
I THINK MARRIAGE IS: Not necessary
DO I WANT CHILDREN? Yes. With peppercorn sauce, preferably.
DIET: Live Foods

MY PROFILE:
MY PERSONALITY: Sensitive
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Taurus
BIRTH PLANET: Nal Hutta
I LIVE: With Roommate(s)
ROMANCE: Very Romantic
MY PETS: Leia (Former princess of Former planet Alderaan)
EDUCATION: PhD
OTHER LANGUAGES: Huttese, Jawaese, Galatic Basic, French

INTERESTS:
ENTERTAINMENT: Pod Racing, Lap Dancing, The Great Huttish Bake Off 
INTERESTS: Feeding the rancor
MY TASTE IN MUSIC: Live Bands
MY FAVOURITE FILMS: Star Wars Episode I – VI

ABOUT MY DATE:
HER AGE SHOULD BE: Young
HER RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Slave



USERNAME:
Count4theWin

Count-Dooku_4f552149

PERSONAL STATEMENT:

The name’s Dooku and you can “Count” on having a good time with me. I won’t “force” you to date me, but you’d be foolish to say no. Haha, funny stuff hey? Yoda told me to always open with a joke. I know Yoda, you know? I’m kind of a big deal.

MY APPEARANCE:
BODY TYPE: Slim
HAIR: White
EYES: Brown

MY VALUES:
RELIGION: Sith
I THINK MARRIAGE IS: Overrated
DO I WANT CHILDREN? No.
DIET: Vegan

MY PROFILE:
MY PERSONALITY: Spontaneous
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN:
Capricorn
BIRTH PLANET: Serenno
I LIVE: Alone
ROMANCE: Not Romantic
MY PETS: None
EDUCATION: Sith Lord
OTHER LANGUAGES: —

INTERESTS:
ENTERTAINMENT: Evening with Friends, Music / Concerts, Bars / Pubs
INTERESTS: Galactic Domination, Needlepoint.
MY TASTE IN MUSIC: Symphonic Metal, Country, Blues
MY FAVOURITE FILMS: Hammer Horror

ABOUT MY DATE:
HER AGE SHOULD BE: 55 – 65
HER RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Widowed


USERNAME: LordHelmetSucks

Darth-Vader_6bda9114

PERSONAL STATEMENT:

My name is Vader, Darth Vader, but my friends call me…I do not have any friends. Sadly, it seems that many women are quite capable of resisting the power of the Dark Side. I find my lack of dates disturbing.

MY APPEARANCE:
BODY TYPE: An absolute ruin.
HAIR: No.
EYES: Dark Side Yellow.

MY VALUES:
RELIGION: Sith.
I THINK MARRIAGE IS: Baffling.
DO I WANT CHILDREN? No. Especially not the two that i’ve already got.
DIET: Synthetic nutrients provided by my life support system.

MY PROFILE:
MY PERSONALITY:
High Maintenance.
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Codswallop. 
BIRTH PLANET: Tatooine.
I LIVE: Barely.
ROMANCE: Old softie. Tell no-one.
MY PETS: Not anymore. I force-choked my goldfish.
EDUCATION: Sith Apprentice.
OTHER LANGUAGES: Heavy breathing.

INTERESTS:
ENTERTAINMENT: I enjoy bondage, domination, sado-masichism and anything starring Morecambe & Wise.
INTERESTS: Galactic domination, the Dark Side, altering deals.
MY TASTE IN MUSIC: I love the one that plays when I walk. You know, dun dun dun and all that.
MY FAVOURITE FILMS: Dirty Dancing.

ABOUT MY DATE:
SHE LIVES: Preferably.
SHE SPEAKS: Rarely.
HER POLITICAL VIEWS: Conservative.

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