Beard fondling contest

As you may be aware, I hit the town of Yeovil this past weekend, on a mission to entertain and woo the masses. What actually happened is hard to describe.

You see my brothers-in-arms, having discovered that the well groomed and oiled beard was as soft as puppy fur, decide to downright DEMAND that the ladies of the local Wetherspoon’s stroke my beard and rate it’s softness. After their initial fear at the demand placed upon them, most joined in the fun and actually did give the beard a tickle. I think more than a few were expecting to lose skin and/or flesh to the wiry mane, but were shocked and stunned by it’s supple softness. So shocked, in fact, that they had to stroke it two or three times to make sure the alcohol they had been drinking was not confusing their senses.


I think that after my efforts last night, many Yeovil men will now be allowed to let their shiny manes grow. I must tell you though, that in order for it to feel cosy and snug whilst your faces touch in that mysterious pastime you call kissing, you must take great care of your beard [Advertise your beardy products here!].

Unfortunately that was as close as the wildlife of Yeovil got that night. No numbers where collected, but we all had a great night out.


In digital news I have had two likes pop up on my dating account today. I have sent some nice introductory messages, so here’s hoping I get a response and that it’s better than the last two.


One last thing. I would just like to say, once again, a big thank you to the followers and many people taking the time to read and like this blog, it means a great deal to me.


2 thoughts on “Beard fondling contest

  1. Were you still drunk/hungover when you wrote this? The spelling and punctuation are not up to your usual standard. I ran out of breath reading the first paragraph!

    It’s a shame the beard stroking didn’t lead to something more. Hopefully you’ll have better luck with your winks this time. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

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